On Being the Friend

by - 12:19:00 AM

I'm always the friend; this is fantastic. Seriously, it is. I'm really good at being the friend; I love hearing about other people's families, I really like to enjoy and applaud other people for their talents, I get a kick out of other's embarrassing stories, and I especially love that other people love me to be their friend. I love that I love being the friend, I just happen to be good at it.

Sometimes this great thing proposes a problem: sometimes I'm too much the friend. Without going into too much detail and humiliating myself, I'll illustrate with this story:

The other day I was chatting with the other nurse at work and I brought up the fact that once you're the "friend" (turned almost sibling) you can't ever go back. She made this assumption, "When you first meet somebody you think about getting to know everything about them, laughing with them and knowing all of their secrets. Initially, you think about being their friend." I couldn't find anything untrue about this statement nor could I find anything wrong with it. Then she gave me the advice, "You have got to stop letting the first thing that crosses your mind be 'I want to be your best friend.' The first thing that should cross your mind should be 'I wonder how good you kiss.' "

Wow, huh? This really made me think. I looked around and noticed girls dating and getting engaged. I wondered, if I was to change my attitude and adopt the one this girl suggested... I am almost positive I could at least increase the number of dates I get (which is not hard to do).

Then, I tried to imagine myself playing any other role. I can't. Literally, I cannot. I'm going to say this anyway, even at the risk of sounding cliche: I plan on marrying my best friend. For Heaven's sakes, if I am going to be with someone for all eternity I might as well spend it with the person that fits every aspect of the term: best friend. I'm not saying I don't think physical attraction is important. Hello, I'm the girl that rewinds the end of "One Fine Day" a minimum of 33 times every time I watch it just to witness that beautiful kiss time and time again. But, because I am who I am, and the things that are most important to me, I will marry my best friend. I don't know how easy it would be to find my best friend when the first thing that crosses my mind is how well they kiss. This is not to say it won't.

"We all need friends. Friendship fills us with warmth and love. It is not confined to the young or the old, the rich or the poor, the little known or the public figure. Whatever our circumstances, we all need someone who will listen to us with understanding, pat us on the back when we need encouragement, and nurture in us the desire to do better and to be better."
President Gordon B. Hinckley
Why not want to spend my time and all eternity with just that?

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  1. Sometimes guys need to let the best friend thing sneak up on them. They think differently than girls do. He's probably thinking "How it it be to kiss her?" so, make it worth his while.