Thinking Prohibited

by - 8:53:00 PM

I'm trying really hard not to think anything right now. Let me show you why. This is what it would be like if I was letting myself think.


I have no idea how to plan a wedding. I wish I had a billion dollars. My best friend is getting married tomorrow. I'm not as upset about this fact as I thought I would be. Probably because I am getting married. I think Dustin said it is 149 days. I can't wait until I get married. I love Dustin. I wish he didn't work at nights. Especially on nights before I leave, when I don't get to see him for a couple days. I hope I have everything packed. Should I pack an extra dress? I feel like I am re-wearing the same thing three times; probably because I am wearing the same thing three time in a row. Oh well, who have I got to impress? I'm already engaged. I love my ring. I love that people think it looks like "me." I love that my diamond sparkles even in the dimmest of light. I still look at my ring all the time. I walk past the mirror and make sure my left hand is somehow showing so I can admire it. Never give a girl with OCD tendencies a diamond ring. I analyze and reanalyze the ring, making sure I haven't damaged it. Sometimes I even make Dusin check it. He doesn't even look at it anymore. I know he hates when I ask him stupid questions like that, but I sure am glad he does it. Sometimes I just need reassurance. Like on everything I need reassurance. Like my wedding. I just want to make the right choices. And I want to love it. Even though I know I will love it. Dustin is so calm about it all. He says we're supposed to be stressed. I need to be more like him. In more way than one. I'm glad everyone likes him. He still needs to meet Richard Westerberg. That was my bad. He should have been one of the first people Dustin met. I'm so scared to ride the shuttle tomorrow to Salt Lake. Richard would threaten to slap me silly if he knew I was stressing myself out over something like that. So would Dustin. I'm excited to see my family. Hopefully the wedding plans go smooth. I might as well prepare myself for some rocky spots. Let's be honest, it's me, my mom, and my sisters...trying to make wedding plans.

I still can't believe Tanya's getting married. Tomorrow will be my last night with her, well, her as my single best friend. She's the best. I can't believe I'm engaged. I can't wait until it's my last night as a single best friend.

Told you I shouldn't think. Instead I'm playing tetris on Facebook, while "Sleepless in Seattle" is playing in another screen (I'm just listening). I'm thinking about everything I need to do and waiting for Dustin to call.

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3 comments

  1. As long as you are getting married in the right place the rest is fluff. No matter what youi do it will be special and "your day".

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  2. I will assuage your fears about the wedding, and Richard is pacing by the front door, awaiting your arrival. All is well!

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  3. Seriously, talk to my mom. She planned 2 weddings for me.

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