I'm sitting here doing my homework (well, actually I'm looking at tickets for country concerts this summer) and I can't concentrate because I am thinking about you. I really miss you. Like, I miss you so much I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about you and me. I can't stop thinking about how much I want you here with me. Why don't you come be with me? Just for today, come be with me.

I stopped and visited your grave yesterday on my way home from the family barbecue at Grandma Bonnie's. I don't mean this rude, but the summer barbeque's just aren't the same at her house...they should be at yours. You'd be yelling at everyone to do things for you, and complaining stuff wasn't done right because it wasn't done your way. Oh, and let's not talk about the overload of food provided.

So, we were on our way back from the summer barbecue (that wasn't so much a summer barbecue) and we stopped at the cemetery. When I say we, I mean Dustin and I. Dustin is my fiance. I really, really hate that I have to tell you that. I hate that you don't know that already. I didn't struggle being there for awhile. I just talked for a second, and fixed the flowers that were there. And then I was quiet. And I had a hard time.

True to the Bruce Fulford genes pumping through my veins, I started to choke up. I hate that you're gone. We were only there for a second...just long enough for me to tell you I missed you. Just long enough for me to feel how much I missed you. As we were walking away, I told Dustin how badly I wanted you here. I told him you would have been the first one he met (partly out of force, and partly by choice). I told him how much you loved me, and how much I cherished you.

I think I miss you especially now because of the changes going on in my life. I mean, this is a big deal. And you wanted to be a part of this big deal. I would bet, if you were here, you'd be the center of attention-and not me. That's how it usually is, right? I wouldn't complain though.

So, Dustin is really, really good to me, Baba. He really loves me. I'm sure you'd approve; that's how good he is. He's in finance, so he keeps me in line (ups and downs to this, I guess). I don't think he would support you handing me money in wads like it was 1999 (not that you'd give him a choice). Oh, and guess where he's from? Grace! Grace, Idaho! Like where we lived in the trailer park-remember? When I first met him, and he said he was from Grace, I about choked. I mean, who is really from Grace? His family moved there right after we left.

I'm still going to school, too. I'm trying to get my degree in English. I'm also working at a doctor's office in Idaho Falls (an OB/GYN-I'm sure you have something to say about that). I'm a little stressed. I guess you could say I'm barely making it (used 'barely' just for you).

Can you believe Haylee's graduated? Morgan's going to be a senior? Kendon's in high school, too. Brooke and Syd in Jr. High. And Josh isn't a baby anymore (though that doesn't keep us from treating him like one). You were gone before dad got sick, but it was pretty scary. He's awesome and working so hard I'm scared for him. Mom is a miracle worker, like always. She's constantly on the move, how grateful I've become for her (shush, I know you're right).

Didn't we have a deal you would come to my wedding? Dang you. I wish you could see my dress, it's so pretty. I feel pretty in it. You'd think I look pretty, too. My reception is going to be outside. I'm so glad I'm getting married in the summer for that reason. I really want to serve summer treats (like ice cream or something) at the reception. Mom, my sisters, and Traci have been awesome helping me (or putting up with me) plan.

I guess I'll quit rambling. I wish you were with me. I know that's selfish. But, I don't really care right now. I can't help but feel that way.

I know this is dumb, but I feel like that Miley Cyrus song that says:

I miss you,

Always Yours

Welcome back, Summer. Nice of you to finally make an appearance...for a day, or two at least. But, that day or two was long enough for the Snow Shack to take a hint and start up business.

That's really all I care about. I've started saving my pennies.

Now, when can I float the flume?

I've been overly emotional lately. I know this seems normal, but it's even more than the usual for me. Yeah, it's bad. My best friend told me this would happen in engagement. But, I don't think I can rightfully blame it on that. It's more like the school, the work, the wedding plans, the freshmen roommates, the change (and we all know how I handle change). This would be the reason I will let this post consist of pictures. I'll keep my commentary to a minimum. It's for the best.

Haylee and Chase (one of my soon-to-be-brother-in-laws) are both graduating this year. Turns out they are both all-stars in everything they do. They both made it to state in track-Hay in the one and two mile and Chase in the high jump and the 4x2 relay.

D. and I made a quick trip up to Boise; we made it just in time to see Haylee run the two, Chase jump the next morning, Haylee run the mile, and then hit the road (we were super sad to miss Chase's relay).

They both did amazing. Not that this is surprising. Haylee broke her personal record in the two-mile and took 6th. The next day she got a bloody nose, and still ran her season's best in the mile-blood running down her throat and all (sad thing is, I can count on one hand the times she has gotten a bloody nose in her entire life...and she got one 30 seconds before her last race)

Chase placed 3rd in the high jump-jumping 6'3". Does anybody else realize how high that is? I kept telling D: "Do you realize your brother could jump over you, on his back, and still have room to wiggle a little?" Awesome. Their relay also took 3rd, beating their personal best by a second and a half.

Ok, I lied when I said I wouldn't talk. Enjoy the pictures. I love these guys. I don't know how I got lucky enough to be blessed with such an amazing family, and then get lucky enough to be joining an equally amazing family.

Well, turns out my computer cord has a short. Just when I don't need it to short out. Just when I am taking all online classes. Just when I have 33 assignments due by Friday. Oh, and one overly large test (don't worry, I haven't even started any of the reading).

Then he realized how short it really was.

Today I'm going to the districts track meet in Pocatello. Haylee already took first in the 2-mile yesterday. She rocks. Morg and Kendon run, too. People, my family is all-stars.

I'm pretty sick of work. But, what can I do about it. I hate those kind of situations. I am grateful for a good job and good people to work with.

There's this really mean girl in my one of my online classes. She's particularly mean to me. I keep getting bully emails from her. Ironically, her name is Alyssa.

Sometimes it hits me that I am marrying the nice, perfect boy. And then I get really excited. Like yesterday, when I was designing our announcement, it hit me. And I couldn't believe how lucky I am.

I haven't gotten groceries in I don't know how long. I can't rationalize the time when I know I have things due. Maybe I should fix that. I mean, I have a whole 12 hours free today!

You know you live with all freshmen when you start getting excited for them when a boy glances their direction. They heart boys.

We really need to find a place to live after we get married. See! There's one of those times...a time that it hits me and I get really excited.

Anyone interested in becoming a voluntary wedding planner, contact me. I'm desperate.

I love my family.

I love my new family, too. Today Dustin's sister posted on my Facebook that his niece talks about me as part of the family. This excited me.

I could really use a shower.

I have full intentions of documenting my boring life on blogger once again.

Over and out.

Hearts, Yours Truly

...I didn't think so.

So, really, I'm tired. And that's my excuse for not saying anything.

But, I really don't think much needs to be said.

I'll post more about our rendez-vous with Aaron Despain as soon as I don't have 45 assignments due by Saturday, mmk?

I do love him, though. Dustin, that is.