Pregnancy Purge

by - 1:50:00 PM

I've been feeling somewhat guilty as of late. I keep complaining about this human parasite living inside of me. Alright, I take that back; I don't complain about her, or the fact that she is living inside of me (because only heaven knows how badly I do NOT want a NICU bill and badly I DO want a healthy baby I can take home with me when I leave). But, I think that is how the complaints come across.

I am incredibly excited to meet this little lady. I can't wait to hold her, and cuddle her, and swaddle her. I feel blessed that we get to start our family so early, despite the harsh opinions and judgments of others (especially strangers; I mean seriously, complete and total strangers are more outspoken than my own family, and that is saying something). I am thrilled at the thought of my perfect husband becoming the perfect dad. I adore thinking of my parents being first time grandparents, and Dust's parents becoming grandparents again. I love that I can feel her move; and I love the reassuring feeling I get when I feel her kick me in the ribs, knowing she is healthy and well.

I know, and fully understand, that there are many people that are not able to receive the blessings of pregnancy, or having children, without medical help, or even at all. I know this. And my heart breaks for them every time I think of it. I am also aware that everyone starts their family at different times. It is different for every couple and every situation.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I am trusted enough by a higher power to bring this special girl into the world. I love her already; more than she, or anyone, will ever be able to comprehend.

I'm not perfect, and sometimes it's hard not to complain about the aches and pains that come with pregnancy. My back hurts. My legs hurt. I always feel like I have to use the bathroom (too far?). Everything makes me gag. I can't sleep. I'm swollen. Everywhere. I have 24 chins (seriously, I counted this morning). There has not been a day in the last eight months that I have not had a headache.

But, she is worth every single bit of it. And I know this.

So, while I will work harder to not moan and complain, know that I am eternally grateful for this baby and the opportunity to start our family. I love that I get to have this special bonding time with her that nobody else gets. I love that feeling that I would do anything for her. Anything. I love that she is changing me; she is making me better already.

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  1. She's cute. Got her mouth shut. Won't last long.

  2. Pregnancy really is a pain, but the whole process is miraculous, and the event that follows pregnancy is . . . well, you'll see. Soon.