On Happiness

by - 2:40:00 PM

My stay-at-home-mom life permits me to have a lot of time to think.

I think that if I had to give a reason why I was hesitant to get married (which I wasn't, ever, at all, so don't get any ideas... this is solely hypothetical) it would be that I was going to be giving up the single life.

I had it pretty good. Or at least I thought I did. I was living the life. I think others probably would have died had they been put in my shoes. But I thought I was living the life (albeit "Mormon style").

I was going to school at BYU-ID, though over time this had evolved into going strictly online. I was working full time for an amazing doctor, with an incredible staff. I was doing work that a lot of people do for their entire lives. I felt like I had reason to go to work, I felt fulfilled as my job enabled me to learn more every single day as well as gave me opportunites to feel like I was helping and making a difference to others. The office was a fun, lively place where I made friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. 

I held a variety of callings in my ward, mostly in leadership positions. I was the perfect definition of a wardie. Sad, but true. Mock me all you want.  Although, sometimes (a lot of times), I stretched the rules a little (it's in my personality, it can't be helped). I did everything I could to ensure that not only I, but everyone around me was having fun. I attended all of the activities. I held parties and invited ridiculously large amounts of people to eat...off of my counter. I fed hoards of boys in the ward. I hung out in the boys apartments, played the role of the college girl with an apartment full of guy friends. We threw ridiculous parities together, with red carpets and all. And they turned out to be some of my best friends through those years. 

I had amazing roommates. Some not so amazing. But, what would college be without a little drama. I lived with my best friend. We bought matching scooters, made late night runs for fountain drinks, played pranks, and snuck into the guys apartments late at night. Our dreams were to travel the world together, accomplishing ridiculous fantasies and 

I never slept. I laughed all the time. I thrived.

I thought I was the happiest I would ever be. And I never wanted it to end.

And then I met a boy. Right at the height of my single life, writing a missionary who was about to come home, and planning my single life years into the future. I met a boy.

And I was comfortable. I didn't feel the need to impress him (poor him). I laughed with him until my gut hurt. I could cry on his shoulder for hours without being judged, but simply held. I told him things I'd never told anyone. We talked for hours. We did nothing for hours. And even then, I didn't want the days to be over.

He met my family, and they loved him (because he laughed at me when my dad nailed me in the face in a Thanksgiving dodgeball game--my family is cruel, it's true). Then he met extended family. And they loved him. And I met his family. And went on a trip with them to their sacred place (a.k.a. Disneyland). And I fell in love with them.

And before I knew it, we were planning a wedding.

And finding apartments, and combining and moving all of our junk. 
And then I was here. And I then I was sure I was the happiest I was ever going to be. 

But today, here I am. With this man. My best friend and better half. In our little apartment. With an addition, that made us a family. 
My biggest accomplishment today was that I threw the diaper at the garbage can and actually made it. One time. It's a big deal. Abby and I were both bathed and dressed before noon. Huge deal. And, one pair of my  pre pregnancy pants fit. One pair. 

And you know what? I would say I'm the happiest I'll ever be. But, I know one day my wonderful life will prove me wrong yet again. 

I will say, I'm the happiest I've ever been, or imagined I could ever be. 

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  1. I absolutely love reading your blog. I love and miss you Alyssa!!! So happy to hear life is treating you the way you deserve!!! :)

  2. Congrats on fitting into your pre pregnancy pants! :)