From Our Front Porch Looking In: November 2012

Lady A. has been six months for three days now.

If I could describe her changing personality over the last month in one word: curiosity.

Watching her discover the world is one of the most exciting things I've ever experienced.

I'll admit to worrying that I'm going to miss any new milestones if I blink.

(My mom just reminded me of a quote from Cheaper By The Dozen: "Five minutes ago she was sitting on my shoulders, pointing at cows in Munger's field." "And then you blinked." "Yeah, enough with the blinking, no more blinking."

Amen. No more blinking.

Abby wants to touch and eat everything within eyesight.

She lunges toward every.thing. Mouth open wide. Ready to devour the object.

She probably could, given her large mouth.

She often ends up frustrated due to the fact that everything always seems to be just out of her reach (usually on purpose).

She is a champ at scooting backward. This usually results in a cry for help coming from under the coffee table, stuck in the rocking chair etc. Though she can't quite seem to figure out the solution to this predicament.

She teases us, hoisting herself up on her knees and rocking for a few minutes before falling back to her tummy.

She sits like a champ rolls everywhere.

It still amazes me how fast she is learning and growing.

She can often be found sitting with one hand resting on her knee, twisting her hand contemplatively through her (very sparse) blonde hair. Hilarious.

Personality is booming out of this one. She cracks us up constantly.

She insists on holding her own bottle, laughs at her own jokes, and is a total ham for strangers.

She makes the back row in Sunday School and Relief Society swoon (and by back row you know who I'm referring to).

Today, she distracted one gentleman during Sacrament Meeting and stole his heart so fast he insisted on taking her to his bench with he and his wife.

Little flirt.

Her favorite time of day is still when Daddy gets home.

She adores her daddy. He gives her his undivided attention from the moment he walks in the door.

These two can usually be found watching Sports Center before bed at night.

Speaking of bedtime, I'm the worst sleep trainer that every existed. I'm sure of it.

With all of the chaos of the move (s), Dustin's new job, and trying to get on a new schedule for Abby and I - I've really been failing.

She usually ends up in our bed - smack in the middle of Daddy and me.

Naps are usually taken wherever she falls asleep, and I have to be in the room with her. If she even stirs in the slightest and discovers me not there it's like her whole world has been turned upside down.

I attempted the whole "let her cry herself to sleep" trick a few times this last week.

She cried for a solid hour - making herself gag a few times.

I'd go back in, soothe her, put her binky back in.

And instead of calming down, the whole process would start back over.

She does sleep through the night, though. That's a plus.

Although, I do not, seeing how she pushes me off the bed.

The most entertainment she gets is from her reflection in the mirror. She squeals and slaps at the reflection.

Equally, she thoroughly enjoys photos and videos of herself. She laughs, then dives for the phone - mouth open wide.

Her favorite times are when she has Mom's or Dad's undivided attention.

She has learned to throw her face into the ground when she wants more attention.

Quite effective, sadly.

Abbs eats like a champ.

She adores sweet potatoes, pears, and homemade applesauce.

I've been making the majority of the baby food - and really don't mind it. Though, it is getting harder to keep on top of the hungry little monster.

At Abby's six month visit she weighed in at a whopping 16.8 lbs and is 26 1/2 in.

(60% weight and 95% height - her head remains a glorious 95% as well)

I've been a little nervous about the solid foods process. Psyching myself out that I was going to do something wrong and mess up my baby for life. In the words of Dr. Mac, "I do not think you need to worry one bit about Abby's nutrition. Her growth is great."

Abby is mostly in 6-9 month/9 month clothes (especially jammies), though she could benefit from some more 12 month pants - if they didn't fall off her bum all day long. Does anyone have a clothing solution for a long baby? Thank goodness for baby jeggings. They have been the answer to a lot of my clothing dilemmas with the little lady. (besides being a lifesaver, they make her diapers sporting bum look adorable)

Abby is super ticklish, especially at night when she is overly tired, and somewhat delirious.

She loves to put her fingers in my mouth and when I make a eating noise she cracks up.

Her sense of humor is absolutely hilarious.

It's hard for me to believe that half a year ago this girl made us a family.

I can't remember life without her.

It takes me 10 times longer to get anything accomplished with her in tow, but every second is worth it.

Her face lights up when she sees me. I'm her mom. Nobody else can take that. Nobody else can fill that role.

Completely overwhelmed with joy.

Our baby is growing like a weed. Meanwhile, her daddy and I are attempting to soak in every moment.

And not blink.

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This is a post composed of my thoughts on motherhood. I've been mulling these thoughts around and around in my head for at least three months now. It's hard to put them to words, and harder still to actually write them in cohesive sentences. These are my thoughts and feelings, my exposed and raw inner most thoughts. (so spare them, pretty please?)

My baby turns six months old tomorrow. Six whole months. Wow - this half year has pushed me, stretched me, and tested my limits. It has taught me what love is. I fell infinitely more in love with Dustin the moment I saw him hold Abby in his arms. I didn't know I could love a little girl so much as I do my baby.

I feel I do a fairly decent job jotting down thoughts and documenting Abby's growth. But, it occurred to me that maybe I should document my own.

I'm a list person. Cut and dried - list person. At least every other day I start a list of things I need to do. I have a planner (like an old fashioned, spiral bound planner), and I use it multiple times a day. I write down everything. And I love seeing things get checked off. It makes me feel accomplished and gives me a sense of reason and importance.

This did not change when Lady A. entered our lives. In fact, my memory (starting with pregnancy) has completely disappeared and I find myself reaching for a spare piece of paper and my planner constantly. I jot down grocery lists, packing lists, to do lists, gift ideas, moments I want to remember. Everything.

The lists haven't stopped, but my sense of accomplishment and importance has. While my lists grow and grow and pile on one another, I have had to learn that I am not in control. The little 14 pound beauty is though.

The first month of Abby's life I didn't make a single list. I had little drive to accomplish anything except for loving my little girl and sharing special moments as a new family of three. It was such a special time in our home. I'll relish in those moments forever, I'm sure.

But, as time wore on, and things began to regulate themselves again, my lists started up again. I remember the week that I realized life was fading out of this magical time and wearing into day to day life again. I blogged a little about this time. I had to pack for vacation (three of us, one being an infant - who is incredibly harder to pack for than two adults, combined). I had school to work on. I had to pack an apartment for our move. In the midst of all of this, my husband was working, trying to finish school to graduate that month, and I had a baby to feed, change, and care for constantly. I was overwhelmed.

I had at least three lists I kept writing, re writing, crossing off, and adding to. And. On the day that seemed to be the height of it all, Abby refused to sleep. At all. Oh, and scream. She rarely even cried, but this day she did. Luckily, I have an amazing father and sister who drove two hours to my aid.

My point is not to rehash that day, or to illustrate the motherhood is miserable. Because it is not. Far from, actually. I bask in Lady's presence all. the. stinkin. time. I adore everything about her. She has me rolling in laughter from the moment she wakes up.

But, I did have to change my expectations of my daily life. While Abby and I have settled into a comfortable routine, sometimes it's hard to remember that I am important. That just because my lists remain unchecked,

I am accomplished. Someone does need me, and she is the one that gives me reason.

Some days I find myself frantic when Dustin comes home (though he doesn't care, and graciously notices even the smallest things, and looks past the glaring messes). I scurry around trying to clean up Abby's toys strung around the house. I try to throw together dinner. And I find myself stumbling and muttering, trying to explain to him what I have done with my day. Because, while I'm exhausted at the end of the day, I often feel there is very little "checked off."

When I quit my job, near the end of my pregnancy, my self confidence plummeted It was hard to wake up each day and not have a reason to get dressed. There was nobody counting on me to be anywhere. There wasn't anybody watching what I did every hour to tell me I was doing an exceptional job. And, to be completely honest there are some days I still feel this way.

But that is not the case. I've had to learn and realize that being a mother needs to be at the top of my to do list. As long as that gets accomplished, I have purpose. Though I do not work (thanks to my hard working husband for providing a way for us to self sustainable and for making a way for me to stay home as a full time mother), do not receive a paycheck every two weeks anymore, and do not have a boss praising me when I do something well - I have purpose.

I hope that Abby realizes that one day. That when she gets older and sees that I'm not a "cool" mom, that I don't do everything other kids' parents do, that I often go to the store in my sweat pants (or often remain in them until three in the afternoon), and that I will probably always be reaching to lose those extra pounds, I hope she will realize that being her mama was (and always will be) at the top of my list.

As a new mother, I think that this is the most important, hardest thing I've had to recognize. I still struggle on occasion, but I think I've adjusted my views, and have embraced these wonderful changes. I am important. I matter. And, I am accomplished - even if it can't be recognize from the outside looking in.

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Due to the crazy changes to our lives lately, I have obviously let the blogging slack.

I believe we take a million phone photos every day.

Most I Instagram, but for those of you who do not follow--

here's a little photo catch up of our lives during the month of October - according to my phone.

//Abby's first time sitting up on her own//Mommy and Abby at breakfast before General conference//

//between conference sessions//

//I walked into the bedroom one night to find this adorable scene//the first really cool day of fall-heading to one of Uncle Kendon's cross country meets//

//Sunday nap in our new house//Little Lady the day she turned 5 months//

//FHE: warm snickerdoodles and a rousing game of Phase 10 Dice//we finally said goodbye to the mullet//

//my new favorite place (also my new weakness)//after a day at the air force museum//

//breakfast at IHOP for Daddy's birthday//shopping with Aunt Traci, and the girls//

//Abby's first day rockin' the baby Pumas (did I mention how long Dustin's been waiting for this day?)//

//Little Lady's first snow and a lazy morning in bed//

//Abby has discovered herself in the mirror and finds the reflection quite amusing//graciously turning down the oatmeal offer//

//Sleepy mornings after we drop Daddy off at the train//meanwhile, while she's supposed to be napping//

//Halloween (another post to come in more detail//enjoying Daddy's forced days off due to Hurricane Sandy (although we were enjoying the days here, our hearts and prayers go out to those directly affected by the storm)//

We are loving our lives in our new home. It's nice to have a little bit of stability (albeit a short time of guaranteed stability). Abby has turned into my little shadow, and I couldn't love it more. We shop, we nap, we cook, we clean--together. We love living so close to good friends, and are still relatively close to family.

Dustin is doing great at work, and enjoying the new job. We are grateful every. single. day. for a good job.

As you can see from the overload of pictures, our lives revolve around our little lady.

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