My Mom's Day

by - 4:09:00 PM

I've been teary all day: today is the day we celebrate mothers. Despite the fact that my daughter wanted to party like it was 1999 last night (refusing to sleep until two in the morning, far past our bedtime), I woke grudgingly to my alarm for early church and watched her sleep so innocently. Boom. My heart exploded.

Last year I celebrated Mother's Day with a 39 week Abby kicking my ribs from the inside, willing her to make her appearance. I thought I knew a mother's love. And really, I think I an extent. There is a bonding that takes place between mother and baby during those 40 (ish) weeks that is inevitable and undeniable. While parts of pregnancy seemed unbearable and never ending, I'll be forever grateful for the time Abby was mine, and only mine (selfish, I'm aware).

 But, the next evening labor was induced and she was born in the wee hours of the morning. And she immediately proved me wrong and taught me to love well beyond what I thought was my capacity. Mother's Day and Abby's birthday will always land within days of one another, and I'm sure I'll be forever nostalgic around this time.

Abby made me a mother. I doubt myself and my abilities as an adequate mother constantly. Somehow we make it. We are learning together, I think. This last year of motherhood has taught me more patience than I ever thought possible. I've been stretched and pushed, and I wouldn't change a minute. Just as much as Abby needs me, I need her. This baby and her daddy are my entire world. Together they make me feel like I succeed, though I know I fall short.

So, to the baby who made me a mother: be patient with me. I'm learning. But, I am eternally grateful I've been trusted to raise you. You made me a better person the moment I found out you were joining our lives; I am constantly working on improving myself to equal your goodness. I am so proud to be your mom.

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