A Thought Purge on Marriage

by - 4:01:00 PM

Warning: thought purge ahead. 

So, today I was in Wal*Mart (keeping it classy) buying everything from contact solution to hot sauce to graham crackers (it was one of those kind of trips, you know, the ones that take you two hours). As I was sprinting down an aisle with a fit-throwing Lady in my cart, I rushed past a stranger and all of a sudden I smelled my single life on a Friday night.

I'm one of those people that associates songs, and smells, and movies (and everything else imaginable) to memories. I love me a good, healthy dose of nostalgia. I'm sure my friends, and family, and especially D. can attest to this. I'm always reminiscing about something or other. So, anyway, I'm screaming through the store and a wave of cologne takes me back to Friday nights in college, going on dates with a 'kid' who wore way too much of this scent. Friday nights that I spent most of the evening prepping for a date, somewhat dreading it, and wishing I could stay home and wear my sweat pants. But, at the same time excited for an evening out. (the the drama and mixed feelings...) The pretend laughs, and the fake smiling...

 One whiff and I was cringing. 

It's not that I didn't appreciate these gentlemen asking me out, or that I didn't appreciate dating. At the time, I liked it, actually. And man, I have some good stories. I loved those years. I was cringing because there is no way on earth I would trade what I have no and go back and do that again.

But, guys, today I am wearing jean capris with gigantic holes in them (like the classy mother i am). I'm sitting at my kitchen table surrounded by three lists of things I need to accomplish this weekend. I have a half empty can of pop next to my computer. I'm pretty sure I've crushed at least 30 Cheerios into the carpet today as I've tried to pick up the blocks (for the 93rd time). Annnnd.... What am I looking forward to most this Friday night? 

My husband being home for the weekend. 

Because, if he cares that I'm in holy jeans and the Disney t shirt that says "Happy Birthday Grandma Smith!" he doesn't say anything. He'll step on at least 30 more Cheerios while he's wrestling Lady tonight. And, there's no pretend laughs (at least from him...i'm hilarious! there is no reason to pretend...joking). No pressure with loads and loads of fun doing...nothing.

Marriage isn't perfect. Really, it's kind of hard sometimes. When you do have a craving for an official date feel (for lack of better terms), it takes more effort. And we drive one another crazy sometimes. And sometimes, after picking up the blocks for the 93rd time, I get grumpy and snappy. And we both stress about money and the future. And we fight (well, mostly i fight circles around myself while dustin listens until i calm down). So, yeah, marriage is hard - that's the reality of it. 

But, when you marry your spouse it literally your best friend (and i'm not saying "he's like totally my best friend because he's hot so...yeah" best friend. i'm saying your best friend. the one who you talk to in bed for hours at night - every night - and he makes you ugly-face-laugh-until-you-cry, best friend) it is so. much. stinking. fun. 

With that, here's to the freakin' weekend! 

**disclaimer: i in no way, whatsoever, proclaim to be an expert on marriage. these are my own personal views on my marriage.**

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  1. i adore you. and dakota. and that little lady you guys have.