On Delicacies

by - 9:01:00 PM


I'm sitting here on my couch, in the dark, in my lounge clothes (read: over sized t shirt and baggy shorts), eating an entire 12 oz. carton of raspberries. And I'm nearly weepy.

The other day I told D. that one of my biggest goals in life is to be able to buy produce out of season and not be worried about the cost. For example, "I want to buy raspberries (probably my all time favorite fruit, and the only one that can cure my *constant* sugar craving) all year round, dangit!" And now I'm sitting here, binge eating raspberries and savoring every bite. 

I'm weepy because I don't want that to change. I want to always find the simple things in life, like raspberries, a delicacy. 

Where has time gone? I am finding it true that the days drag on, as a mother, but the years seem to fly by. Am I finding everyday with my baby (who, is not so baby-like anymore--probably the real reason behind this blurb) an absolute delicacy and not just taking each day for granted? Because, sometimes, it's hard. And sometimes I find myself yearning for bedtime. But, all of a sudden she's a nearly-15-month-old who is picking her nose, and folding her arms for prayers, and responding with a resounding "Ya!" every time she is asked a question. 

I find myself yearning to savor every.last.second. with this little lady, but at the same time sending myself into a whirlwind of stress (brought on my the inevitable mother's guilt) trying to make certain I do. 

It's a learning process, for sure. 

And that, folks, is why I'm weepy. 

It's OK. Tell me I'm crazy.  

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