To My Baby

by - 7:23:00 AM

To My Baby Girl (the one i haven't met yet) - 

There have been a world of emotions surrounding your coming into the world. Let's be honest - with me being your mom, there are a world of emotions everywhere, all the time. I'm a roller coaster, really. 

I truly believe you were nagging at me for awhile, telling me it is time to make your debut. But, I'm a worrier, a stress-ball of worry, and there were big changes coming our way. Big changes like moving across the country - away from family and friends and everything I was comfortable with. And for a stress-ball, this was taking over my thoughts. But, I couldn't ignore you. Are you as stubborn as your sister? As me? Because, if so, we are in for it. 

So, we moved cross-country, and it kind of sucked. And five days later, found out you are joining our family. I cried. Happy cried. Maybe a little overwhelmed, but oh, so happy. 

What I had initially thought to be a surprisingly smooth and easy first trimester soon turned into the worst (not that i have endless experience). The nausea (and more), fatigue, and overwhelming emotions (also accompanied by extreme homesickness) took over our little family. Your dad is a rock star - I just don't know how else to say it. But, I do know you're lucky to have him; so much more lucky than a lot of kids. 

I was worried about loving you and your sister simultaneously. Not because I ever doubted you'd be equally amazing - but because I just didn't know my heart could love so much. And then, I saw your little heartbeat on the ultrasound, and I fell in love. Head over heels in love. And then, we found out you were a girl (thanks to grandma patty for sneaking us in!) - and our world was turned upside down all over again. Two girls. And we couldn't be happier. It made sense. 

I think that's my overwhelming thought concerning you - you make our family  make sense. I worry I'm inadequate to be a mother of two, we live in a shoe box (you may, in fact, be sleeping in a shoe box), and your sister's two-year-old anger issues are a force to be reckoned with - but you make sense.

If you sister calls you, "baby boy" don't take offense. Also, she thinks you are inhabiting her belly. Ha! She gets giddy every time she sees you on the ultrasound machine; her "big sister" shirt is her favorite. She begs to wear it everyday. 

We are ecstatic to see your sweet face. Though that sweet face may not have a name for a few months after birth. Don't worry. Someday we'll settle on something. How do you feel about, "Woody?" That's yours sister's preference. And, after trying to discuss names with your dad, it's not sounding so bad. 

So, baby girl, we know how lucky we are to have you. And really, the thought of our world being turned upside down has never been more exciting. 

I love you already. So, so much. 


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